Nefarious Agents: Redux

I'm on the phone, at this very moment, with a Geek Squad Agent. She has not only said that the agent in the store was wrong, but that "it sounds like he's trying to make a few bucks".

Fantastic.

I'm about to work on getting some kind of assurance that there is no reason for them to work on, access, throw out, or worship as an unholy object, my hard drive.

I'll take a moment, since I'm on hold and being treated to a very cool, if too short, action-techno-something-matrix, to defend the agent at the store. It's entirely possible that he was told that I could lose all my data, and that he's just trying to help me out. It's also possible there were extenuating circumstances I didn't witness the other day when an old man walked in saying they had taken one of his cables, to which the agents in the store replied that he must have dropped it on the way out to the car. Which maybe he did, but since it's not a far walk, I think there were myriad opportunities to try and ensure customer satisfaction there. But it's not like they can give out free cables, like they just did to the girl in the tight shirt in line before me, smiling and saying it's no problem, she didn't need to pay for it, he has another. Now, in my two times here, I've only seen the agent interact with about 6 customers (including myself), but this was the first time I saw him shake someone's hand and make chit-chat. She probably buys a lot of hardware there. A lot.

So I just talked to "Rob". "Rob" says to tell the agents at Best Buy that he said he'll call me if there's a problem. Just call "Rob". Who Geek Squad has hired, knowing that they would never allow another employee to take that name. When I said that was great, and that the agent in the store said he wouldn't call me, "Rob" said he'd need to talk to his supervisor.

Great googly-moogly! People, just don't screw with my freaking drive! Can we do that. Can we say "We won't touch your hard drive, no matter, what. If we can't fix the problem without touching your hard drive, we'll just send it back. Really it's no big deal to us." No. No we can't. Fascists.

"Rob" is back! Great! And...each store has a different policy? And, now he can't guarantee they'll call me? And there is no Santa Claus?

Crap.

OK, people. You win. I'm backing up my data, and then I'm going to a Best Buy, and I'm handing over my computer. And so help me, if you for some reason erase my data, I'm going to turn my incredible (and delectable) brains from the task of music education to corporate finance, and one day I will own you.

From there I will use your capital mercilessly, regardless of the harm it does to your company, buying pieces of other companies, and selling them off, leaving in my wake a barren landscape dotted with the ruined remains of various corporations, until I hold more wealth thought possible by man.

I'll further use my wealth and standing to invest in foreign powers, manipulating their governments and people around the globe, causing civil unrest and amassing even more power, wresting it from the innocent and guilty alike.

Finally, having complete control of the world's resources, I will ensure humanity's doom, and, if necessary, the destruction of the planet itself.

Do not allow this to happen, Best Buy. Don't screw with my hard drive.